Styles of Parenting
There are three different parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. In this post I will explain them and offer pros and cons of each.
The authoritarian style of parenting can be likened to a jawbreaker. A jawbreaker is very hard and unmoving, and is rightly named as a jawbreaker, since if you try to break through it, you're likely to hurt your jaw it's so hard.
This style of parenting has many expectations for the child, but offers little support for the child. This can cause the child to act out, just to upset their parent. All this pressure, combined with little to no support or warmth from the parent(s) can also make the child grow up to be anti-social, and have a difficult time figuring out how to make choices for themselves. The parent calls the shots, and mistakes are met with harsh punishment, whereas achievements are met with little warmth. There aren't any pros for the children when it comes to this style of parenting, other than learning how to escape conflicts easily and de-escalate situations.
On the other side of the spectrum is permissive parenting. This can be compared to a marshmallow, as it gives very easily, and is squishy.
The parent in this style has very little expectations and demands of the child, and has high responsiveness to them. They are more focused on being their child's friend, rather than teacher. Mistakes are met with little punishment, and this can result in children who are demanding and entitled. A pro to this style is that the child knows they are loved, but it has many cons, as they learn how to manipulate situations easily to their advantage. When they don't get what they want, they may throw tantrums or make a scene. These children have low levels of self-control, which leads to bad choices being made when they grow up.
In the middle of this spectrum of parenting is authoritative parenting, which, in my opinion, is the bet style of parenting, and is the way I was raised. This can be compared to a tennis ball, since it is soft and has some give, but it doesn't give too much and is not easily manipulated.
The main characteristics of this style are high demands, but also high responsiveness. These parents have many expectations for their child, but also provide the support the child needs to meet these expectations. They help their child, and the child is able to meet the expectations. Mistakes are punished, but reasonably so, and the child is able to explain to their parents the situation, and possibly why they did what they did. Children raised in this way are more likely to grow up to be sociable and self-sufficient. They are also confident, and tend to not suffer from rash choices, as they are educated from a young age the correct way to make good choices.
In my opinion, the authoritative style of parenting is the best one. I was raised in this style, and I have grown to be quite self-reliant and confident. I was taught from a young age important life skills, like budgeting and how to cook. I always knew as a child that if something went wrong, I could talk to my parents, since they would listen. Whenever I made a mistake, I never thought "oh, my dad is going to kill me!" I knew that they would listen to my reasoning, and they would always punish in a reasonable manner.
There are some other sources that class parenting styles in a different way, which I feel like is more sub-categories of these three. The ones that are differentiated are:
Attachment: creates a strong bond between child and parent through physical and emotional closeness. More used for babies, and emphasizes breastfeeding, as well as baby-carrying.
Free-range: Encourages a child's independence and autonomy by letting them go do whatever, with only a few parameters. It apparently makes the child better at decision-making, but it causes a lot of worry on the parent, more than normal.
Lawn Mower: Makes a child's adolescence easier by removing obstacles from the child's way, whether it be arranging the kid's schedule or talking to other's on behalf of the kid. This can make the transition to adulthood very rough, since they don't know how to fully think for themselves and often have not learned important life skills.
Helicopter Parenting: Much like the lawn mower parent, except they intervene in any situation that can cause distress for the child. Any situation at all.
Refrences:
Images taken from Google Images.
LASCALA, M. (2020). What’s Your Parenting Style? Good Housekeeping, 270(4), 111–113.
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