Spanking: why you shouldn't and how it affects your child

     Spanking a child has become more and more less the way that parents go when disciplining a child, and for good reason too. Numerous studies have shown that not only is it not an effective way of teaching your child, it also makes them more likely to become aggressive with other children, leading to a smaller possible social circle, which then leads to lacking proper social skills.

Another possible outcome of inflicting corporal punishment on your kids is that they are more likely to experience mental health and cognitive problems. To talk specifically spanking, “spanking alone is associated with adverse outcomes, and these outcomes are similar to those in children who experience physical abuse” (Sege, 2018). That is absolutely awful! For those of you who don’t know the outcomes of physical abuse in children, let me give you a good descriptor of it, taken from an article by the NCBI, or National Center for Biotechnology Information:

“Children who have experienced abuse and neglect are therefore at increased risk for a number of problematic developmental, health, and mental health outcomes, including learning problems (e.g., problems with inattention and deficits in executive functions), problems relating to peers (e.g., peer rejection), internalizing symptoms (e.g., depression, anxiety), externalizing symptoms (e.g., oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, aggression), and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). As adults, these children continue to show increased risk for psychiatric disorders, substance use, serious medical illnesses, and lower economic productivity.”

                To put in simpler terms, children who suffer from physical abuse frequently suffer from learning problems, mental disorders like depression and anxiety, as well as PTSD, and are aggressive. As adults, they continue to have psychiatric problems, medical illnesses, and poor economic conditions.

                No sane parent would want that for their child, I think we can all agree on that. We all want our children to grow up to be mentally stable and healthy adults, and to be successful in life. Most of us do, at least.

In an article written by Hollee Actman Becker, she states that “the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems, and cognitive difficulties that last into adulthood.” Obviously, this is not something you want for your child! You want your child to grow up to be well-liked, obedient, and kind to others. So what can we do otherwise?

In an article called “Discipline Tactics For Every Age,” Jessica Wohlgemuth makes a suggestion for disciplining a child 2 years old and up. She suggests to try explaining yourself, and further says that “By giving your child a reason for your instruction, you're allowing her to understand why one behavior is better than another.” I think it’s probably one of the best ways to teach the child. When you simply tell a child “no,” and don’t give them a reason why, they will likely break the rule again. However, when you explain to the child why they shouldn’t do something, they’ll remember it in the future, and it helps develop their reasoning skills, which will aid them when they make their own decisions. I know for me personally, as a child, if I was just told “no,” or “because I said so,” I got really upset, since that isn’t really an answer why I shouldn’t do something.

In the same article, she suggests time-out time, which is personally one that I would recommend. In my family, for time-out, we would have to go put our nose on the floor in a spot of our choosing. It was a different way of time-out, as I’ve come to learn, but it definitely got the point across, because none of us kids enjoyed having to put our nose on the floor, and it deterred us from repeating the action because we didn’t want to be put in time-out.

Again in this same article, Wohlgemuth also suggests praising positive actions. She says:

“Discipline won't work if the only time you focus on your child is when he's acting up. Children crave recognition from their parents, and, although positive attention is ideal, they'll take what they can get--even if that means an angry reaction to the whack they just gave their little brother.”

                It’s true! If you only ever got attention from someone that you desperately wanted to interact with, and the only time they ever spoke to you was when you did something wrong, wouldn’t you continue to do wrong things? That’s how children are, even if they don’t realize it.

                Next time you think of spanking your child, maybe you should consider the possible life-long effects it could have. Take a deep breath, let yourself calm down, and address the situation in a calm and non-violent manner. Not only does it help your child in the long run, they also respect you more since you don’t cultivate fear in them.

References

Becker, H. A. (2017, January 6). Whoa: France Just Made Spanking Illegal. Parents.

https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/everything-kids/whoa-france-just-made-spanking-illegal/.

Committee on Child Maltreatment Research. (2014, March 25). Consequences of Child Abuse and

                Neglect. NCBI. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK195987/.

Images from Google Images.

Sege, R. D. (2018, December). Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children. Pediatrics.

                https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/142/6/e20183112#sec-16.

Wohlgemuth, J. (2009, December 20). Discipline Tactics For Every Age. Parents.

                https://www.parents.com/baby/development/behavioral/positive-discipline-tactics/.